Category Archives: Not Me Monday

Not Me Monday

Here are a few things that I absolutely did NOT do lately.

Buy something on clearance then hide it from my husband.

Who, me? Are you kidding, what kind of a wife do you think I am?  I am always 100% *ahem* honest with my husband about all of my purchases.

Use a boxed mix and then tell people I “can’t remember” the recipe.

Everyone knows that I never use boxed mixes and did you not just read the statement above, I never lie to people.

Tell my son that I am going to send him to live with his teacher since he behaves better for her than he does for me.

What kind of mother would say that to her dear sweet child? Not this one!  Especially not a mother so immersed in being a Love and Logic parent. I mean, come on people!

Go meet strangers that I met on Twitter and try to be their friends.  Only crazy people who want to get ax murdered do that. And really super out-going people that have interesting lives, which I definitely am NOT.


FYI – I did not get ax murdered.

Let my kids eat donuts for breakfast to coherse them back to school after the Christmas break.

I never let my kids eat junk food. Especially for breakfast. That’s the most unhealthy thing I have ever heard of and I would never….

MckMama used to host Not Me Monday but I don’t think she really does it anymore but I think it’s funny sometimes so I went ahead and did it anyway because apparently I am all about doing things I would normally not do this week.


Why You Shouldn’t Do The 30 Day Shred Workout Video With A 5 Year Old

Do not do the 30 Day Shred Workout Video by Jillian Michaels with a five year old.

Seriously. Don’t. Do. It.


Mommy, are you going to do your workout now? Can I do it with you?!!!

Mommy, why are your armpits fuzzy looking?

Jumping jacks? These are piece as cake! (not a spelling error, he always says piece as cake instead of piece of cake and I will not be correcting him until he is 25)

Mommy, why do your knees make noise when you bend like that?

I follow Natalie, Mommy.  She is better. (For those of you who have never had the pleasure of self torture via Jillian Michaels, Natalie is the “advanced” girl and Anita is the girl you follow if you are needing a “low impact” work out.  I follow Anita quite often. SO WHAT.)

Here, Mommy, let me hold your head while you do those sit ups.  You look like you need help with your head.

Um, Mom, THAT is NOT how you are supposed to be doing it. *eye roll*

Sorry my arm is bumping you Mom, but you are kind of in my way.

Mommy, don’t you wish there was a level FOUR?!  You’d be SO strong.  (yeah, or dead)

Whew, this is hard work, I’m going to take a break and get a snack! (NO FAIR)

That one girl is as tall as the ceiling!

Shouldn’t you be on Level 3 by now?

Did you know that this is exercise too Mommy?

You hear that Mom? Jillian said, “CHOP, CHOP!”

Two minutes of cardio Mom! Can you handle it?

What is cardio?

Do you need me to pause it for you?

If I was a girl, my hair would be shaking back and forth right now!

She said NOT to do that Mom.  You are disobeying.

Don’t you dare put that video on Facebook, Mom!

(What, you mean this video? I wouldn’t dare!)

(Or this one?, Not me! I would never!)

Now that we’re done with easy Level One, I’m gonna do Level Three by myself!

(And he does…and kicks Level Three’s butt, by the way.)

Mommy, you look like you need a hug!  Ewwww, nevermind, you smell funny.

And THAT my friends, is why you should NEVER. EVER. Do the 30 Day Shred workout video with a five year old.  (Besides the fact that you spend the whole time writing down all the funny things he says and taking pictures the whole time, thus nullifying the affects of the workout.)

This post is linked to Not Me Monday hosted by MckMama!

Mckmama- Not Me Monday

*Amazon Affiliate Links* Um, obviously.

Not Me Monday! Jesus vs Cake

Mckmama- Not Me Monday

No, my kids don’t have wacky conversations like this and my son would NEVER choose cake over Jesus.

(Talking about the story of Zacheus from the Bible)

Me: Wouldn’t it be awesome to have Jesus over to your house for dinner?

Chandler: That would be the most special day ever!

Chase: If Jesus came to my house for dinner, I would make him cake.

Charlie: Forget Jesus, I’d just like some cake.

Chandler: You’d choose CAKE over JESUS?!

Charlie: I’m not saying I don’t love God, I just REALLLLY like cake.

Check out what other moms are “not doing” over at MckMama’s!

Not Me! Monday: Dear Mom


No, I would never post something after my husband advised, “You’re not really taking a picture of that are you? Ok, well at least don’t put it on your blog.”

No, I would never post something and disregard my Dad’s words, “You shouldn’t type fart on the internet.”
And no, I would never embarrass my son just for a good laugh.

I don’t know what’s funnier, that the kid left me a note or that is says AGAIN.
No, my son would never do something like this.

Visit MckMama to see what other Moms are not doing!

Not Me!

No, I did not take my camera into the bathroom so I could get this picture…

…just so I could prove that I can’t get a moments privacy even in the bathroom because if the kids aren’t bothering me, the dog is!
It’s weird and gross to perch on the toilet, camera in hand to take a picture of your dog.

And I am not weird and gross. 
Check out what other Moms are not doing over at MckMama’s website!

Not Me! Monday


So my fellow “mommy bloggers” out there in the land of the internet often share a fun “Not Me Monday” post started by MckMama and I always think they are a riot and, let’s be honest, I have a whole lot of material around here to use!

Where do I start…there are oh so many things that I did not do this week.

For instance, I most certantly did not throw a temper tantrum with full fledged kicking and screaming on the floor to show my 4 year old how silly it looked when he did it. I am a civilized woman who knows how to handle her child and I would never do that.

I also did not play guitar hero for so long that I dreamed about it and woke up pressing my fingers into my husband’s side. That would be sad and I am just way too busy cooking stuff from scratch and cleaning my house to spend that much time playing on the wii.

My boys did not wear the same pjs for about three days straight all day and night without taking a bath or changing their underwear over Christmas vacation. I am way too clean of a person to allow such filthy grooming habits!

And lastly, I did not ring in the New Year by watching Seinfeld reruns in bed with my husband even though we were kid free for the night. I am so much cooler than that.  I swear.