Thursday, May 10, 2012

The Middle Child Syndrome

The Middle Child Syndrome. It's the thing that has middle children everywhere wondering about their place in the world. I was a middle child but I was also the only girl so I think that cancels it out.

Our middle child is Chase. He is eight years old. He is the most relaxed and easy going child on the planet. It is for that reason that I think we have allowed the Middle Child Syndrome to sneak in. We really don't try to leave him out or anything. But apparently, it's happening.

He had a bit of a melt down last night and when it came down to it, he explained it like this,

"It's always oldest to youngest or youngest to oldest in this family! WELL WHAT ABOUT THE MIDDLE KID?!"

Oh. Whoops.

We apologized profusely for making him feel left out and swore to him that we aren't trying to do it purposely. We promised to be more aware of it and to let him go first sometimes too.

So last night he got the first piece of dessert.  You should have seen the smile on his face.

My encouragement to you today is to think about your middle child. Are you unknowingly making him or her feel second best?

Just something to think about from the Mom who is giving her middle child the first piece of dessert for the rest of his life.


  1. Lillian @ Elle The HeiressMay 10, 2012 at 8:12 AM

    This is a post that I definitely needed to read today. With Baby #3 joining our family in just a week or two, I have been terrified about my current baby, who is only 16 months old, getting lost in the crowd. #3 was a surprise for us, and I feel so guilty for not having much alone time to get to know our soon-to-be middle child before adding another baby to the bunch.  It also doesn't help that I was an only child, so I already have major anxiety over how to handle siblings and lots of OHMYGODDIDIRUINTHEIRLIVESBYHAVINGMORETHANONECHILD moments. I'm hoping that this is all just pregnancy hormones, but it really has me stressed out.

  2. I totally understand! Chase was only 15 months old when Charlie was born and I was worried about the same thing! Don't worry. It all works out. Chase adapted very quickly and it became normal right away. They adapt. They will be great! And you will still bond and connect with the toddler once the baby comes, I promise!

  3. I just loved this post. Provided me with needed perspective.

    Something else I need help with and reminders about: carving out individual time with each kid. Life gets so busy, and I hope all three of my boys feel loved and cherished, but I KNOW they'd love some special mom and/or dad time more often. Time to do what they'd like, without brothers. Really, we rarely plan this at all. 

    What do you do?

  4. That's a really great point, Sandy. Our schedule doesn't allow for much of that either. It's really hit or miss but I'd like to make it a priority as well!


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