Category Archives: Military Family

A Silent, Lonely Journey

There are so many things I want to tell you but I can’t. Sometimes military life is a silent, painful road. There are secrets to be kept. Security is first, and keeping things to myself is not my biggest strength. But, alas, I must. So that is why I am being quiet. I have recipes to share and funny things to tell you about and many, many house pictures to update you on but it will all have to wait. We are counting down to a deployment. It is taking up most of my time and my brain space. I am still fulfilling my responsibilities that I have for writing for other blogs like Goodwill and BVTMomsBlog. But otherwise it will be quiet around here until after the holidays.

We appreciate your prayers while our family goes through this difficult, but rewarding journey.

OK, one funny conversation that happened between the boys before I go…

Charlie: If you put the dog in the oven, he would be a hot dog!

Chase: No, actually, he would be a dead dog.

Hope you are all having a wonderful Holiday Season!

You Think I’m Strong But I’m Not So Sure

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We are a military family. It is fairly new to us. Even though many of our family members have been in the military, Matt just joined about three (or four? is it bad I can’t remember?) years ago. So it’s new to us on the level where it affects our every day life.

The longest Matt has been away is for six weeks for Officer Training School. I was so relieved that he could skip the eight week basic training and go straight into Officer School. Those two weeks seemed to make it so much shorter, although, it’s just two weeks, right? Here’s the thing…I cried every single day of those six weeks. Every. Single. Day. I missed him. I was never so aware of how much I needed him. I hated it. He has left for many small trainings and trips since then. A week here and there. And I cry every time he leaves.

Now here we are staring down the face of a six month deployment. While I realize that a six month tour is super short by military terms, it is our first deployment and it sounds like six years to my heart.

And I have already been told that I should not complain about six months because it’s nothing and other husbands are gone way longer but I find that to be totally rude and I can be upset if I want to, so there.

Anyway.

I am heading up the Family Readiness Group for Matt’s squadron so I had a meeting with the commanders the other day. One of them says, “We still have __ (amount of months removed for privacy purposes) months until the deployment so the families are not really thinking about it yet.” And I just about started crying right there. (But I didn’t because I had my super professional no crying hat on.) No one was thinking about it yet? I am thinking about it every day and totally freaking out. Why are other people not?! Am I that much of a disaster/failure of a military wife? Now, to be fair, this is a man talking and generally speaking they don’t get how our minds work. So he could have been totally thinking like a man. Maybe the other wives are thinking about it. I’m sure I’ll find out soon.

When I discuss these OMG feelings with others, I am told things like:

“You are stronger than you think you are.”

“You have been through so much, you can handle this!”

And so on.

But I don’t always believe those statements about myself. You didn’t see me curled up crying every day of those six weeks. You didn’t see me cry on the side of the road on the way to getting the car fixed last week because what will I do when the car needs work and I don’t know if the mechanics are telling me the truth and I can’t just pick up on the phone and call him next time. You didn’t see me cry at the end of the driveway yesterday because the garbage can was super heavy and what will I do when he is gone and things are heavy?

I know what I will do when those things happen while he is gone. I will call the male friends we have that know about cars. I will summon my supermom powers and lift the heavy things. Or buy a crane. I know I will just do it. Because I won’t have a choice.

My husband reminds me that our sacrifices matter. It’s bigger than us. And I totally agree. I do not regret that we decided to be a military family. I take a deep breath and remind myself of that in those OMG moments. I remind myself that women do this every day. They do it well. They do it for many, many more months than I will have to. And I can do it too. I just need to trust in myself and the people around me who will be my support. I need to remember that I am not alone. Physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. I will not be alone.

But without him by my side…physically…by my side. My heart doesn’t believe you when you tell me that I am strong. My heart screams, “NO I AM NOT! SHUT UP AND LET ME CRY LILE THE BIG WHINEY BABY THAT I AM.” (Yes, my heart talks in all caps.)

So I am left thinking. Am I really strong? Is the me you see in regular life, smiling and carrying on as if nothing is wrong, the strong me? Or is the me crying by the side of the road, admitting that I am weak, the strong me? Is it both? Is it that I can admit all of this to the internet, is that the strong me? What makes you think that I am so strong? What makes me think that I am not?

You think I’m strong but I’m not so sure. I suppose we are all about to find out. I hope I prove you right. For my sake. For my kids’ sake. I sure hope you are right about me. For once in my life, I sure hope I am wrong.

Vacation With A Capital V

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We’re going on vacation! Thanks to the very generous people of Ohana Camp we are staying for an all expense paid stay in a cabin for the week along with many other military families.

We didn’t get everything done on our list for the house but we are all pretty exhausted and ready for a break so we’re going anyway! Hopefully the contractors will be getting some work done while we are gone.

From what I hear there is no cell service, no Internet, no TVs. Nothing. And we are pretty excited about it!

So until next week, I’ll be enjoying some peace and quiet. Well, except for the three boys that will be with us.

There are a few things on my list of things to do while we are gone:

-Paint my toe nails
-Pluck my eyebrows
-Read a book
-Catch up on hugging my kids
-Laugh

Not a bad list, is it?!

Dirty Underwear = Forget. Swear Word = REMEMBER FOREVER!

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This summer we went along with my husband to the Wright-Patterson Air Force Base in Ohio. We took some time to visit the National Museum of the US Air Force. It was amazing to our three boys as we strolled through rooms and rooms full of military planes.

We came across this one plane that had a swear word on it. Of course, my middle son read it aloud, totally oblivious to the fact that it was a swear word. Our oldest hung his head and practically died right there on the spot because people around us were chuckling. It went something like this:

Chase: “Mom! Look at that plane! It’s called The Strawberry Bitch! What a funny name for a plane!”

Chandler: “Oh my goodness, MOM. Did you hear what he just said! Oh my gosh. I am SO EMBARRASSED.”

Crowd of people around us: “giggle, giggle, snicker, snicker”

Me: LAUGHING OUT LOUD (I’m such a good role model.)

Chase: “What?”

Chandler: “OH MY GOODNESS.” Walks away so as to not be associated with us embarrassing swearing people.

Then I got a hold of myself and explained to Chase that the “B” word can be used as a swear word so he really shouldn’t say it. He was all embarrassed and almost cried because he thought he was in trouble. We assured him that it was totally ok, just don’t say it anymore. And then we moved on. (After I took a picture and posted it to Facebook, of course.)

Fast forward to last week, months later, and out of the blue he says, “Mom, remember that one plane we saw at the museum that had that ooh-la-la lady on it with that ONE swear word that I said – but don’t worry I won’t say it – and then we laughed after I said it? That was funny, huh?”

Me: “Oh, you remember that, huh?”

Chase: “Of course, it was so funny!”

Me: “Oh yeah, I hardly remember that.”

Chase: “Oh, I do! I remember it!”

Well isn’t that nice. The kid can’t remember to put his dirty underwear in the hamper but he can remember this.

Perfect!

Shake Hands With A Hero

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Thank you to Procter & Gamble, Kroger and the USO for sponsoring this blog post and the Shake Hands With A Hero initiative. Please click here to learn more about this program. I was selected for this sponsorship by the Clever Girls Collective, which endorses Blog With Integrity, as I do.

My husband, Matt, is an Officer in the Vermont Air National Guard. We are a fairly new military family, (which I have told you about before) though we have a long history of family members who have served. I take my role as a military spouse very personally. When I was asked to take part in getting the word out about Shake Hands With A Hero, I couldn’t have been more excited! I love to do anything I can to support our troops and their families!

Matt was recently given the Family Readiness Coordinator for his unit. He told me that basically though, it’s my job. (Thanks, Honey!) We will be the contacts for all of the family members who have a deployed family member. I am honestly very honored to fill that role.

Matt recently has had to say good-bye to some of his fellow co-workers on the base as they were deployed. It was so very hard for them to leave their families. It brings tears to my eyes just to think about it! Every day as a military family we are reminded of those who serve and think about the day that our turn will come.

What I want to do is encourage you to think more often about the men and women who sacrifice so readily for our country. Here is your turn to take a moment to remember them and show them you care!

Here are the details about Shake Hands With A Hero:

Procter & Gamble (P&G) and Kroger and its family of stores have partnered together to support the USO – an organization that provides an extensive range of programs at more than 150 centers in 27 countries and at hundreds of entertainment events each year to support the morale, welfare, social and entertainment needs of troops and their families, free of charge – in its mission to help American troops and their families. Through the partnership Kroger will donate $250,000 to the USO.

As part of the partnership Kroger and P&G have created an opportunity to let consumers virtually “shake hands with a hero” to show your gratitude to US soldiers in uniform to thank them for their service to our country. The first 50,000 people who visit www.honoringourheroes.com to shake a soldier’s hand will receive a coupon (which will be loaded to their Kroger Plus Card) for $1 off P&G products.

I’d love it if all of you would take a moment to make a couple of clicks and show our troops that we are behind them and thinking of them! Thanks so much!

A big thank you to all of you who so selflessly sacrifice for our freedom and to all of the families who stay behind. Hero doesn’t seem like a big enough word for all of you!