We’re submerged in football right now. There’s no other way to put it. Marlboro Man is coaching my two boys’ football team, Marlboro Man and I are both tuned in and watching all the college games we can find on TV…and if that wasn’t enough, we’ve also gone to some of our local high school’s home games on Friday night.
There’s nothing like high school football games to send you soaring back to adolescence. The cool almost-fall night air…the shirtless guys painted with their team’s colors…the adorable cheerleaders, who, by the way, have way more energy than I remember having at seventeen…the Bon Jovi songs blasting on the loudspeaker in between plays. Is there some kind of requirement that high school football games pipe Bon Jovi until the end of time? I’m not complaining, mind you. On the contrary. Hearing–and singing along very loudly to–“Livin’ on a Prayer” last Friday was the best thing that’s happened to me in a long time.
It was the worst thing that’s ever happened to my fourteen-year-old daughter. But I told her things like this are character building.
High school football games also mean Frito chili pies.
Last night, I whipped up some for dinner. I encourage you to do the same this week!
Start with ground chuck or any ground beef you have on hand.
Throw it in a deep skillet or pot…
And brown it over medium-high heat. Drain the excess fat if you use regular ground beef; if you use ground chuck you should be fine!
After that? You’ll need this.
Pour in the tomato sauce…
And the Ro-tel…
Then give it a stir.
Add a little salt…
A little ground oregano…
And a good amount of cumin, which says “chili” to me.
It also says “taco” to me. But only when I make tacos.
Next comes the chili powder, which also–shockingly!–says “chili” to me. Add 2 to 3 tablespoons, depending on how much you like chili powder, and depending on how spicy your chili powder is, and depending on how much spice you like, and depending on your blood type.
Just kidding on that last part.
Next, add a half a cup of warm water…
Then give it another good stir.
Put the lid on the pan, then reduce the heat to low and simmer the chili for about 30 minutes, stirring a couple of times.
After that? You need these.
Throw the cans of beans into a colander or strainer, then give ’em a good rinse under cold water because canned beans are kinda slimy and grody when you first take them out of a can.
After you rinse the beans, pour ’em right into the chili.
You can use any combo of beans you like: all kidney, all pinto…whatever floats your bean boat.
Stir in the beans, the cover the pot again and simmer for another 20 minutes.
After that? Grab this.
It’s masa, otherwise known as corn flour, which I like to add to chilies and soups and stews to give things a little thickness and delightful corn flavor. You can find it either in the flour aisle at the store, or in the Hispanic foods section.
Regular corn meal is fine, too.
Pour some masa into a small bowl…
Then pour in a little water.
Then stir it together until it’s pasty and weird.
Then–and this is important!–give the chili a little taste. I want you to experience the before and after.
Then pour the masa mixture right into the chili. I know it looks weird. Don’t run screaming yet.
Now just stir it together and simmer it for another 10 to 15 minutes…and that’s it! Be sure to taste the chili and make sure it has enough salt…but keep in mind that the Fritos are muy, muy salty. So you might want to tread lightly, baby.
Can I call you baby?
Zee chili…ees DONE!
And ees goot.
Fritos in a basket. This is a very corny photo.
Get it?
With the bags of Fritos on their sides, snip open the bags like this.
Then grate up some sharp cheddar cheese. Grate your own if you want your Frito chili pie to be extra phenomenal.
Use a food processor if you want to be lazy like me.
Sometimes I just don’t feel like using the box grater. Please understand.
Assembling a Frito chili pie is very, very complicated. You might want to pay attention!
You get some chili…
And you throw it on the Fritos.
You are now halfway finished.
Then you throw on the grated cheese. Do this right away so it’ll melt.
Then you stick in the plastic forks and deliver them to hungry humans. Simple as pie!
Simple as Frito chili pie.
Enjoy this, guys! It really is a treat.
