My Kids Are Funnier Than Your Kids

Just a few examples of why my kids are funnier than yours.

Me: Charlie, please help clean the playroom.
Charlie: But I didn’t play with any of this.
Me: Well I didn’t wear any of your clothes but I’m still washing them for you.
Charlie: I don’t get the point.

Me: Chandler, you have chocolate on your face.
Chandler: Yeah, I know, I’m saving it in case I want a snack later.
PS – He was kind of serious.

Chase: Indians don’t exist.
Chandler: Yes they do!
Charlie: If Indians exist, then Cowboys exist too!
Chandler: Guys, listen, North America was discovered by the white people…I mean….certain people.(So politically correct, that one.) The Indians knew it was here first, they just didn’t tell anyone, then we found it.  I’m in third grade, I’ve been going to school for five years now so I know a lot more than you.

Chandler: Mom this dinner isn’t good…it’s awesome!
Charlie: Yeah, Mom super yummy.
Chase: Well, it’s not dog food.

(Talking about what they will be when they grow up)
Chandler: I would not want to be a guy who tests dangerous things that can explode stuff.
Chase: Yeah, like yourself.

Me: Chase, will you live with me forever and ever?
Chase: Only until I’m big enough to get my own house.
Me: No, I want you to stay with me forever!
Chase: No way! That means I would have to do the dishwasher for the rest of my life!

And this.

And this.

I rest my case.

What funny things have your kids said lately?

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