Monthly Archives: June 2011

Love and Logic Parenting: A Source of Wisdom or Resentment

Yesterday I received my Love and Logic Insider’s email (sign up on their homepage to receive them yourself!) and the text hit me like a ton of bricks. This is such good advice and gives me so much to think about. I will definitely stop and think before I react more often. Trying harder, trying harder, trying harder to get this parenting thing right!
My friend, Dr. Foster Cline, is a very wise man. His presentations offer one brilliant piece of advice after another. One of my favorites is, “Every childhood mistake handled well can become a learning experience. Every childhood mistake handled poorly can become the source of resentment.”
Put yourself into this situation: You are a child who “borrowed” your dad’s power screwdriver. You left it out in the driveway overnight, and now it’s missing.
After finally getting up the nerve to admit this to your father, he replies, “Wow! I bet you feel pretty bad about that. I’m planning to do some repair work next weekend and I’m going to need that screwdriver back or I’m going to need a replacement. Let me know how you’re going to solve that. Give me a hug.”
How are you feeling at this moment? What are your feelings toward your dad? Are you mad at your dad or yourself? What kind of learning could take place?
Now suppose that Dad handles it this way instead and replies, “That was really stupid. What in the world were you thinking? How many times have I told you to leave my things alone? This is the kind of thing that really makes me mad. If you don’t find the screwdriver, you’re going to be grounded for two weeks, and I mean it!”
How are you feeling now? If this happens to be Dad’s typical reaction, how many repetitions of these interactions need to take place before resentment builds? How much learning takes place when you see the other person as the source of your bad feelings?
You can hear many of Dr. Cline’s wise words on the CD Allowing Kids to Choose Success.
I love how it makes you stop and think, “How are you feeling now?” I forget to put myself in my kids shoes sometimes. If someone said the things to me that I said to my kids, I would probably hate them. 
Good parenting food for thought, isn’t it?!

Girls For A Change – Show Your Support In One Easy Way!


The following is a post sponsored by Yahoo! Every time someone clicks here to make Yahoo! their homepage, they’re showing their support for Girls For A Change.

I was selected for this opportunity by Clever Girls Collective, which endorses Blog With Integrity, as I do.


I’m pretty picky about what sponsored posts I will write. I won’t share just anything with you guys so I can make a buck. When this offer came to me, I instantly said yes. This is something I can get behind!

I’m really excited to share with you the opportunity to support a really great cause! Girls For A Change is an organization that empowers girls to create social change by inviting young women to design, lead, fund and implement social change projects that tackle issues girls face in their own neighborhoods.

Even though I have three boys I have a soft spot in my heart for young girls. Especially girls who have limited opportunities before them. I can remember being a young girl and the struggles to find yourself and fit in and they are still fresh in my mind. Girls who do not have the loving support and insightful wisdom of stable women NEED someone to step up and take that role. I love that there are women doing just that with the Girls For A Change program.

Here is an excerpt from the Girls For A Change website that explains more about what they do:


Girls For A Change empowers young women to create change in their own communities with the guidance of adult women. About 5-10 girls and two women “coaches” make up a Girl Action Team. Teams design and implement a social change project that will make a lasting change in their neighborhood, city or school. More than 100 Girl Action Teams meet across the US and internationally each year. Check out how Girl Action Teams are transforming the world in your city.

In an effort to get the word out and do some good for this awesome program, Yahoo! will donate $10 to Girls For A Change (GFC) for each person who switches their homepage browser to Yahoo! — up to an amazing $10,000!

Be sure to use the specific link above or it won’t count!
Why Should You Make Yahoo! Your Homepage? It offers…
  1. Personalized content: The Yahoo! homepage delivers you the most relevant content based on your interests, time of day, and what’s most popular with other users like you.
     
  2. Your World and The World: The Yahoo! homepage uniquely brings together your world (your email, local news) with the world around you (current events, entertainment news, financial updates and more) 
  1. Human Interest: Articles on the homepage have a human approach – more than just news, it delivers human interest stories that you just have to click on.

 Thank you so much for reading and supporting Girls For A Change by changing your browser homepage to Yahoo!

    *All opinions are my own*

    You Know You’re A Mom of Boys When…Undergarments Edition

    Yes, the title alone should warn you about this one.

    I walked through the department store underwear aisle with my children.

    My three boy children.

    The questions. The comments. The oh dear God don’t laugh, don’t laugh, don’t laugh moments.

    Chase: What are panties?

    Charlie: Duh, they are girl underwear. It covers their…YOU KNOW. (inappropriate pointing to private parts)

    Charlie: Mom, these bra things, they are to cover your nibbles right? And the hold up those boob things?

    Me: Yes, Charlie, but let’s save private questions for when we are at home please. *turns and chuckles*

    Charlie: (holding up a bra) Mom, this one is really squishy. Like a pillow boob!

    Chase: Mom, is 3x the biggest these come in?

    Chandler: Mom, pleeeeeease let’s go now.

    Me: I think Chandler is right, we should go.

    Favorites from around the web…Cookies!

    I still haven’t decided on a name for this weekly post.

    I am a bad decider.

    For instance: Which if these cookie recipes will I try first?

    This one for Oatmeal Peanut Butter Sandwich Cookies by Let’s Dish?

    Photo Courtesy of Let’s Dish

    These Chocolate Toffee Cookies from Smitten Kitchen?

    Photo courtesy of Smitten Kitchen

    Toffee is my FAVORITE. I’ll make them without the walnuts though.

    S’mores Cookies from Giving Up On Perfect?

    Photo courtesy of Giving Up On Perfect

    (Thanks for telling me about these Amy!)

    Too many decisions!  Don’t make me choose!

    I told you I’m no good at decisions!

    Check out the links and let me know if you try any of these delicious cookies!

    Yahoo! Email: My Mommyhood Lifeline

    Thank you to Yahoo! Mail for sponsoring this post about staying connected. I was selected for this sponsorship by the Clever Girls Collective, which endorses Blog With Integrity, as I do.

    I already told you about my email love story with my husband. But email isn’t just about loooove notes for me! It keeps me connected with friends and family around the country.

    When I first started emailing on a regular basis (that makes me sound old), my babies were actually babies (sob). I was stuck in the house with three kids under the age of five, two of who were in diapers. My life was all about nursing babies, changing babies and playing with hot wheels. I was lonely. I was talking to my kids about random stuff just so I could talk! It wasn’t easy for me to get out much. An infant and a toddler who could barely walk tend to slow you down. Add in a five year old and you just stay home.

    My girlfriends and I started emailing back and forth about getting together and dreaming up girl’s nights. Then our emails began to just be random and about silly things like the latest Grey’s Anatomy episode.  We started to send emails back and forth all. day. long. It would only take a quick second to check my email and laugh then reply with a “you are crazy, girl!” but I have to say, those emails made my day. It got me through those moments of feeling like I was alone. I laughed, I cried, I grew so very close to my friends. We would send pictures and take turn making comments and I swear I thought I might die from laughter on most days. It didn’t matter how busy we were, we always made time to check in with each other. There is nothing like knowing that with a click of a button I could talk to a friend!

    Being a stay at home mom is a hard job. I have always felt like it is a blessing, it’s what I always wanted to do. But sometimes, you just need to know that there is more to life than diapers. You need to feel like you can have a conversation with an adult other than Big Bird or the mail man or anyone at the grocery store who will listen to you.  Emailing with my friends did that for me.

    That was quite a few years ago but to this day my friends and I are able to stay in touch through email. Now we have Facebook and blogs but nothing beats a good ol’ email thread full of encouraging words and hilarious inside jokes from friends.

    I could never live without my Yahoo! Email. I count on it to be my lifeline through mommy-hood and so much more.

    This video is a cute reminder of it all for me!

     Tell me about the first time you realized you couldn’t live without your email and why?!

    Although this is a sponsored post, all opinions and stories are mine and they are all true!

    Love and Logic Parenting: Getting Your Kids to Think

     I have been reading and re-reading these super helpful tips from a Love and Logic Insider’s Club email I’ve had in my inbox for weeks now. It’s such good information, I knew you would want to read it!

    How can we make sure that our kids are doing their fair share of the thinking? How can we keep ourselves from getting pulled into working harder on their lives than they are? How can we help them become prepared for a world full of decisions and consequences?

    Replace statements with questions.
    Some of the most powerful moments come when we empower kids by asking them what they plan to do about various situations instead of telling them what they need to do. The implied message we send says, “You are smart. You can come up with the answer.” In my CD, Shaping Self-Concept, I teach that kids who are given this gift are far more likely to succeed in school and in life.
    On top of that, the human brain has a hard time ignoring the questions it hears. It wants to search for the answers – it just can’t help itself. What a gift we give kids when we get them to think versus telling them what to do.
    A child who is redirected with the question, “Are you sure this is the right place for that behavior?” will respond much better than the child who is told, “Stop that!” One method invites thinking; the other invites resistance and battles for control. Which do you prefer?
    In either case, we are enticing young brains to do lots of thinking by simply asking questions rather than stating “how it is.” So, do your kids’ brains a favor and feed them a steady diet of questions. Won’t it be fun to see the smoke start rolling out of their ears?
    I last wrote about the power of questions: how questions can actually divert the brain’s focus. A person who is thinking in one direction can suddenly find himself/herself thinking in a totally different direction when hit with a question.
    An example of this happened when Jill said to her teacher, “Well, I wasn’t the only one throwing food.” Her teacher responded with empathy and a question, “Oh, this is sad. Where are you going to eat now that you can’t eat in the cafeteria any more?”
    “Huh?” Jill’s brain, driven by nature to answer questions, had to switch gears and go off in a totally different direction.
    Most things we say can be turned into a question, putting us in charge of the conversation. Here are some examples of changing orders or statements into questions:
    Order:  “You aren’t going to talk like that in this house.”
    Question:  “Is this the right place for that language? Thank you.”
    Order:  “If you don’t do your homework, you’re going to get a bad grade.”
    Question:  “What kind of grade do you think you’ll get without doing your homework?”
    Order:  “You are not going to drive if you drink.”
    Question:  “What do you think will happen to your driving privileges if I start worrying about you drinking?”
    Order:  “You guys better quit fighting over that remote control.”
    Question:  “Have you guys thought about what might happen to the remote if you keep fighting over it?”
    Order:  “Quit that bickering!”
    Question:  “Hey, guys, what do you think is going to happen if that doesn’t stop?”
    Another example of using a question to change a situation happened when Dr. Charles Fay witnessed three young boys on the school bus becoming rowdy. A teacher told them to settle down. They didn’t. Dr. Fay went over to sit with them and asked, “Hey guys. Which one of those Pokemon figures spits fire?”
    As you can guess, the entire scenario changed as these kids started answering and talking. No discipline was needed. A simple question made a huge change.

    You can get Love and Logic’s Insider Club emails yourself by signing up on their website.



    This is not a sponsored post. I’m just a L&L nerd who loves to share parenting strategies with other tired parents. 


    🙂

    My Favorite Recipes of the Week: Breakfast

    I look online for recipes…like A LOT. Most often I use them as ideas. I’m not very good at following directions. I like to make recipes my own. I decided though that since I find SO many great recipes in my online adventures, that I should start sharing them with you!

    Sometimes I make the recipes I find and sometimes I just drool over them and then forget them. Matt is always telling me I need to “make a list” because I am constantly showing him recipes online or trying a new one and then a month later he’s all, “Remember that one recipe with the chicken and the cheese…” Now I can keep better track for myself AND share them with all of you!

    This week I had my eyes on breakfast treats. Here’s what I found!

    I love these Cinnamon Toast Rolls by Circle B Kitchen.

    Photo Courtesy of Circle B Kitchen

     They look quick and easy to make as a weekend breakfast treat. I would probably use wheat bread just to pretend like it was healthy-ish. Or not.

    I decided to make Stuffed French Toast for a church brunch last Sunday so I began scouring the internet for ideas. I came across this one and about died.

    Banana Nutella Stuffed French Toast by 52 Sweet Treats

    OH MY YUM. I tried it with strawberries and it was divine. Johnna’s version is dairy and gluten free so that is a huge plus for those of you who follow those diets! I made my version very full of dairy and gluten. 🙂

    The other recipe I found is Stuffed French Toast which I found through Tasty Kitchen (my new obsession). I made this one with blueberries but I think it would be equally amazing with strawberries as well! I guess I’ll have to make it twice. Darn.

    From Girli Chef, I present to you Cinnamon-Sugar Pull-Apart Ricotta Bread.

    Photo courtesy of girlichef.

     There are so many words in that title that make me drool. This is a MUST try ASAP recipe for me and I will probably follow it exactly. I just can’t risk it not coming out perfectly on the first try. My taste buds would never forgive me!

    So there are some of my must try and eat right away favorites from around the web!

    What are your thoughts about my fave recipes posts? Should I post on the same day every week? What should I call it? Let’s give it a name!

    Have a recipe you think I should share? Let me know! If you pass my rigorous standards of acceptance (makes me drool and lick the screen) then I’ll share your recipes too!

    Looking forward to sharing more and hearing your faves too!

    Cube Dog App – Your Kids Will Love It!



    Thank you to Cube Dog for sponsoring this review. For more information about Cube Dog please visit the Facebook page or download it on iTunes.

    I am always looking for fun new apps to put on our iPhones for the kids to play. It’s the perfect thing to keep them busy during those waiting periods of life…in line, in traffic, while waiting for a table at a restaurant, so they’ll be quiet and leave me alone at any time of the day, really.


    So when I was asked to review the Cube Dog app I was really excited! My boys love those digital pet kind of games so I knew they would love this. My husband, Matt, downloaded it on his iPhone 4 and started showing the boys how to play. It was only a matter of minutes before they were off on their own playing with Cube Dog and screaming about who’s turn was next. 

    Cube Dog is a fun 3D digital dog. You can create your own dog by choosing it’s ears, nose, eyes, etc and colors. With a shake of the phone, you can change your mind and change the looks of your dog! The full 3D graphics are really amazing. You can rotate and zoom around your dog. The 3D animations are super high-quality and make the game so fun. You can add accessories and all kinds of other options to your dog as well as teach it to respond with the swipes and taps of your finger on the screen. My boys loved making it do tricks. Their favorite was to make it a ninja. I could tell it was their favorite because of this:



    Their other favorite (and actually mine too, I kept making them do it just cause it made me giggle) was to make their Cube Dog call them from his iPhone. How cute is that?!

     The Cube Dog app is compatible with the iPhone and iPod touch 4 with camera. (Oh that reminds me, you can take pictures and insert your dog into any scene! Even take a picture of your dog with you!)

    Check out this video for a sneak peek…

    The video is just a peek. The actual app has so many fun options to play with. You can create up to 3 dogs at a time (one for each kid, perfect). And the best part is that you can download it for FREE. There are additional treats and fun options you can buy your cube dog as well! Head over to the iTunes store to download your own!

    You can also check out Cube Dog on Facebook for more details and to watch for a fun contest running June 13-17!

    While Cube Dog provided me with the app to review, the opinions I’ve expressed here are solely my own and represent my honest viewpoint. Cube Dog, Clever Girls Collective and I promote Blog With Integrity.

    Being Germ Aware without Being a Germaphobe

    I think it’s easy to become a germaphobe these days, don’t you?  With the bird flu and swine flu and all other kinds of weird non-animal named diseases floating around it’s no wonder we all aren’t contagious with something!

    I can see myself being a germaphobe. I have some clean freak tendencies and OCD type quirks about me (I know, you are shocked, aren’t you?). But there are ways to be aware of the germs around us and teach our kids healthy habits without going overboard.

    Here are my tips:

    Stop using antibacterial soaps. I know you think we should be doing the opposite considering the nastiness that is out there, but some germs are good for us. When we cut out all bacteria, we are not giving our bodies a chance to learn how to fight it off. Also, it can lead to creating those super bugs we hear about in the news! If you’ve ever noticed, an antibacterial laden home is often the sickliest home.

    Stick to regular soap! Using a simple non-fancy soap will clean your hands well enough. Just remember to wash thoroughly and for more than 20 seconds.

    Use less antibacterial hand sanitizers. For the same reasons I mentioned above with the soap, antibacterial hand gels are not always necessary to use.  Now I’ve been known to squirt some on our hands after we’ve been at the store and won’t be getting to a sink for awhile. Especially if it’s a second-hand store or the children’s museum where every child on the planet with a snotty nose has touched everything my child touched. Antibacterial hand wipes and gels do come in handy, but again, being exposed to some germs (yes! even in public!) is ok!


    Teach your kids about hand washing. Now, with all that said, I will also say this: I have always taught my kids about washing their hands. After the bathroom, after school, when we get home from the store, before they eat anything. These are general good hygiene lessons that we all need to stick by. And yes, during flu season, wash a little more often. Like when you cough and blow your nose. That is not being obsessive. That is being clean. I have also told my kids that when they are told to clean their hands before lunch (most schools do a hand sanitizer line) to ask to go to the bathroom and just use soap and water when possible. Hand sanitizers do not take off dirt and dried up glue or boogers.

    Step away from the bleach. You do not need to use bleach to clean your house! I mean, sure, if someone has the stomach flu and has barfed all over your kitchen floor you may want to get some bleach on that, but everyday cleaning does not need to be so harsh! Simple ingredients like baking soda and vinegar go a long way in cleaning your home. Or just buy some cleaner at the store, but try to stay away with cleaners using harsh chemicals and bleach. You just don’t need it! Check out this site which lists some easy to make homemade cleaners.

    So there ya have it. What are your stay healthy but not act like a crazy person germ tips?

    PS – Sorry for using the words barf and boogers in the same post. I have boys.